Madi Saskia is a 22-year-old artist from Smethwick, Birmingham. She's a West Midlands talent that makes alternative R&B music, helping you tap into your feelings and emotions. Madi has also founded I AM ME, a platform where artists can be themselves as well as being a Y5 Future Bubbler. Kindred. was able to have a chat with Madi to discover more about herself as an artist, her journey and what she’ll be doing next.
As an artist, do you find it difficult to be vulnerable knowing that people are listening?
Madi: Yeah, I think not so much in a studio sense, cause I can kind of make the songs and put them out and then I don't have to worry about how people are feeling about the songs - I just hope that they can heal or take something from them. When I'm performing, I try to be as vulnerable as I can to really show the integrity of the song. It's really scary when you're in front of a room full of strangers. I literally said on stage (in front of 300 people), "Oh, I'm really, really, really sad right now and I don't know any of you, so it's really scary." So I find it difficult, but I think that's why art is so beautiful because when you have a room full of people that are happy to take you in, there's almost like this level of safety that you feel when you're singing.
What's your journey been like so far?
M: Up and down - I feel like I'm always going back to square one. I started when I was 15, so it's been a journey. In the beginning, the first show I did was at KOKO in Camden as part of this artist development program put on by Capital XTRA and it was great. And then I was like, so where do we go afterwards? And it was ups and downs of releasing music that was s*** quality. And then I was doing loads of shows, but I wasn't releasing music. I didn't find the balance. So I think now I'm in a space where I know how to release music, I know what it should sound like, and I'm doing shows with intention. So I feel like now I'm starting to kind of bubble and grow as an artist, but it's been a journey of learning and educating myself because for a long time, I was doing it all by myself and now I have an amazing manager who tells me everything about life that I need to know. So yeah, it's been a journey, definitely like JOURNEY in capital letters.
When did you realise you wanted to do music?
M: It's really funny, I wanted to be a history teacher. I tell people all the time that I had a big passion for history and then I got my GCSE results (I took music as an extracurricular thing) and I did better in music than I did history, which I was so shocked by. And then I was like, you know what? F*** it. Let's just try and go to music college. My mum wasn't happy at all, but it was being in that environment, writing songs and kind of learning how to perform, where I really fell in love with being an artist and telling stories through music. I think I was around 14, 15, 16 years old so it was a while back now, but it's been a beautiful journey ever since.
Dead or alive - Who would you most love to work with?
M: See every time someone has asked me this, I change my answer, because I think like, "Why would I wanna work with that person?" But right now I would love, love, love, love, love to work with Jamilah Barry. She's one of my favourite artists - like when I burn my incense and I'm just chilling, I'm playing her in the background. It's just so nice that she's from the UK and she's making R&B music that's not stereotypical - she makes it okay to be a bit different when you're making that kind of music, so I would love to work with her. She or Amia Brave, I'm a big fan of both of them.
I feel like those are quite achievable as well, so fingers crossed. I'm manifesting for you! So what was it like recording for the first time?
M: So I did like terrible little recordings for music GCSE, but the first proper professional studio session I went to, I think I was 14 and I was recording some backing vocals, for this rapper's track and it was so scary. I prided myself on loving music and being very laid back and writing, but when it came to recording, there was this overwhelming pressure to be perfect. Being a Virgo and being your world's worst enemy all the time, you're always critiquing yourself anyway. But then to have like a room full of people saying you need to be better, it's just a really weird feeling which I've gotten used to. I know that's just what has to happen, but it was the most horrible experience ever. I felt like in my first experience that I wasn't good enough and it made me question a lot of things. And then I just had to learn to fall in love with like the recording process, so I'm good now, but yeah, first time - awful. I hated every part of it.
I know that part of being a Virgo is being a perfectionist as well, so I get it. What's your favourite song that you've written and the story behind it?
M: So it's out of two, one being 'Speechless', which I performed at Mahalia Presents. I think that is the most vulnerable I've allowed myself to be without fearing other people's opinions and I like how empty the song is, so it's literally just me and my sadness that you hear. It's basically a really beautiful diss track to my ex. When I'm singing the song, I'm thinking, wow, you really did me dirty and I don't think they realise how messed up I was when we broke up. So I'm hoping that when the song comes out, they'll realise. I hope they don't try and come back, 'cause that would be really, really awkward, 'cause I don't want you! [Laughs]
Or there's a song called 'All I Want Is You' which is the first song I produced myself, alongside my friend, DJ who's absolutely amazing but it's a weird song because on first listen because you think it's about talking to your loved ones, saying, "all I want is you," when really it's me talking to this guy that I was seeing that I was deeply in love with when I was 17. It's kind of my cry out for him in all the relationships that I am pursuing. I'm like, "you are amazing, but you are not him," and he was the prime example of what love's supposed to feel like for me. He taught me about what my love languages are and stuff. When I don't receive that from someone else, I kind of selfishly compare. It's like, well, I want you, but that relationship will never happen. It's just the way that I felt during that relationship... I wish I could have that in relationships to come. Just longing for that feeling and being with that person, but without them.
What's your creative process like?
M: It depends, if I'm collaborating with someone, I'm sending emails over, so it's proper jarring, but I usually go off their vibe. So it's like, "What's your concept? What's the vibe you want to go for?" So that's really easy when it comes to my own stuff, it's literally singing a bunch of gibberish into my voice notes and trying to make sense of it. I've got a lot of vibe-y gibberish in my voice notes right now, however, the words are not coming to me right now because I've got some kind of stupid writer's block... it's usually just making some gibberish, and then filling in the blanks, but the first thing for me is connecting with the actual music, 'cause if I don't feel that the beat or the chords or whatever, then nothing's gonna come out for me. Music gibberish, fill in the blanks.
What's been your biggest challenge so far?
M: That inner demon that tells me that I'm not good enough and trying to overcome that. Also, people's expectations of what I'm supposed to be and trying to go against them. I'm supposed to be this slim thick Insta baddie who sings about sex and how a man does me wrong. I'm supposed to be really oversexualized, and I'm just this plus-size girl who wants to wear tracksuits and sing about how her heart's broken, but sometimes has bad hair days. I don't have time to be an Insta baddie all the time and I definitely love my back rolls. I just literally want to be myself so that no matter what standards are put on me, I will never conform to them because I love me, I'm a cool person, you know what I mean? And I feel like everyone should just be able to love themselves and not have to fit into this cookie-cutter ideology that this music industry has put forth on us.
I remember when you said that people called you the "fat Jorja Smith" and that really struck a nerve with me. I was like "Are you being serious? Why would you say that?"
M: It's mad. I make jokes all the time and I'm like, "I must be famous," 'cause every once in a while, I get a message request and some people are like, "Oh yeah, you make great music. I feel like you would go a lot further in your career if you lost some weight," and I'm like, "Okay. Cool. So what about if I lose weight, then what?" Do you know what I mean? There are so many other things that make being a great artist and my physical appearance is just not what I'm focused on. I have to make good music.
And let's be real - there are plenty of slim babes that make very mediocre music.
M: I don't need to be one. I just feel like, it goes back to being on that journey of self-appreciation. When you are told you have to look a certain way and you strive to be that person, you go so far from yourself, it's proper sad. So when that person said that to me, I was like, "That's a massive compliment," 'cause Jorja Smith is fire as hell and her music's sick. However, I'm Madi Saskia. I'm definitely not Jorja Smith and I'm not trying to be her because she's amazing and she's a West Midlands talent, but other than that, we're not the same person.
And your voices are really different too, so for someone to say that, I was just confused.
M: It was so mad, but I get it so much. Especially when I get my braids done, they're like, "Oh yeah, you remind me of Jorja." No. Gorgeous, gorgeous woman, but I am not her and she's not me. It's a weird one. Comparison, I think it's a really horrible thing in the industry, but yeah, I'm just me and I'm trying to accept that. Me and all my flaws.
What's next for Madi Saskia?
M: Shows, shows, shows and an EP soon. Like I said, I've been doing music since I was 15. And I always get the "Madi, when are you releasing music?" And I think I have all of three or four songs out in the almost eight years I've been doing music. So finally in September, which is the deadline I'm giving to myself, there will be an EP coming and it's just going to be a lot of sadness and vulnerability and just transparency about my experiences with love and situations and heartbreak. So yeah, that is what is coming - music, shows and hopefully some nice collabs and stuff and more projects with cool people.
Was there anything else that you wanted to say?
M: Don't sleep on the West Midlands as a region, because I feel like there's such a beautiful array of talent coming from here. If I was to tell anyone anything, just be ready for the explosion that is the West Midlands and everything creative that comes from it. We've got some exciting things coming and we've got some really exciting artists that come from here.
Follow Madi Saskia on her musical journey by connecting with her on Instagram!
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